In the Belly of a Paradox: Traveling Towards Destiny with Thomas Merton
A post by Kyle Outlaw
Inside the Belly of a Paradox
Traveling Toward Destiny with Thomas Merton
"Like Jonas himself I find myself traveling toward my destiny in the belly of a paradox.” -Thomas Merton
Thomas Merton had a major impact on my life. I discovered Merton when I came across Thoughts in Solitude, and went on to read The Seven Storey Mountain and many of his books and essays. His bibliography is immense, and I will likely not make it all the way through in this lifetime. In times of grief, pain, anger, and denial, I find myself asking, "What would Thomas think?” It was Merton who pointed the way to converting to Catholicism more than a decade ago, and it was Merton who pointed the way to the monastic, hermetic life. Merton was converted by James Joyce, strangely enough; I was converted by Merton.
It’s been said that Merton was a great writer and a terrible monk. I am not in a position to judge, but I do understand these sentiments. I idealized Merton and considered him to be my patron saint, though he has yet to be canonized by the Vatican (and likely never will be). One day, I was perusing the Internet Archive, searching for one of Merton's books when I discovered Beneath the Mask of Holiness by Mark Shaw1. At first, I thought I might be reading sensationalist garbage (how dare you attack my hero!), yet it turned out to be a comprehensive and insightful account of Merton’s life during the late 1960s.
In Mark Shaw's book and The Monk's Record Player by Robert Hudson2, Merton’s agony and ecstasy is on full display. He comes across as a cosmic fusion of Bernard of Clairvaux and Hunter S. Thompson. I am not going to go into the details of his vices and temptations here, but it is enough to say that he was human and, like the rest of us, he had his issues. And he was a man of many contradictions. As Whitman wrote in Song of Myself, 51, "Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)”3.
My parasocial friendship with Thomas Merton began several years ago in Manhattan. Memories of hanging out at Tom’s Restaurant — a.k.a. “The Monk’s Cafe” — whose exterior was immortalized in Seinfeld and a favorite of Merton’s during his Columbia University days. Visiting the church of St. John the Divine in Morningside Heights, also the site of the Thomas Merton Life Center. Riding a bicycle to the Cloisters in Washington Heights, one of which was the Benedictine Abbey of Sant Miquel de Cuixà, moved stone-by-stone from the Pyrénées-Orientales of France where Merton was born. Meandering through the West Village where Merton lived in his bohemian days. Reading his books for the first time in the guest house of Our Lady of Mississippi Abbey in Dubuque, Iowa, a Cistercian monastery for nuns. Meeting one of his students at the Monastery of the Holy Spirit near Conyers, Georgia.
Since joining the Community of the Incarnation as a new monastic, I have felt Merton's presence even more. I am not searching for him, but he seems to turn up everywhere these days. Last year, Jon Sweeney, a Merton expert, held a seminar for our novices on his work. Sweeney wrote the acclaimed Thomas Merton: An Introduction to His Life, Teachings, and Practices4. Our end-of-year retreat was at Mepkin Abbey, north of Charleston, in South Carolina. Mepkin was founded by Merton’s fellow monks who came from Gethsemani. The abbey's library had a section dedicated to his work, and I discovered a rare copy of Cables to the Ace5, an anti-poetry book written before his death. I also found his posthumously published semi-autobiographical novel, My Argument with the Gestapo.6
“…so I will disappear from view, and we can all have a Coke or something.”
Merton’s vocational failings are well documented. But, they do not seem to have lessened his influence. To me, he is now more relatable than ever. He was, after all — as Nietzsche would say — all too human. I have always found it interesting that Merton was both a hermit and one of the most famous Catholic writers in the world. His writings, especially The Seven Storey Mountain, convinced many young men to join monasteries during the 1950s and 60s. He received so much fan mail that he needed a dedicated post office for Gethsemani monastery. Celebrities and dignitaries such as Joan Baez, Thich Nhat Hanh, Mother Teresa, Bede Griffiths, Thomas Keating, Evelyn Waugh and several more visited him at the abbey.
James Joyce’s hell-fire sermons from A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man helped to inspire Merton to convert to Catholicism and join the priesthood7. Unlike Joyce, who made the decision to become an artist rather than a priest, Merton maintained both of these vocations for the rest of his life. At Gethsemani, Merton adhered to the rigid schedule and duties required of a Trappist. He also smoked weed and dropped acid. Played jazz and rock albums at maximum volume. Had a tumultuous romance with a nurse and novice nun. Drank lots and lots of beer. Smoked cigarettes. Read Henry Miller and Rimbaud. Wrote surrealist poetry. Published a newsletter to get around the censors at Gethsemani. And he was an avid explorer of Sufism, Hinduism, Taoism, and Buddhism. He was said to have had an awakening experience at a Buddhist shrine at Gal Vihara, in Sri Lanka shortly before his death.
During the late 1960s, Merton believed civilization was close to collapse. His passing in 1968, along with the deaths of Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy, raised several questions which remain unanswered. On the day of his fatal accident, Merton finished a speech on Karl Marx with: “…so I will disappear from view. Then, we can all have a Coke or something.8"
Merton has helped me to accept my contradictions. These days I am less concerned with fitting into narrow definitions. To quote Aldous Huxley: "Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead.” Perhaps this is one way to look at the resurrection: to escape the belly of the whale, we must accept our own and others' contradictions, and the ultimate paradox of life itself. In response to Shakespeare’s “To be, or not to be” from Hamlet: why not both?
I believe this is the non-dualistic approach Merton sought in eastern philosophy and Asian religions. The paradox of being a hermit and a famous writer; of being a cloistered monk and a social justice icon; of being a Catholic priest while exploring eastern religions. These contradictions gave birth to something new: a resurgence of interest in monasticism. It has led to the new monastic movement, which I am now a part of. As I travel toward my destiny, it's comforting to have Thomas Merton as a trusted guide.
As for his prospects for canonization, the late Fr. Declan Deane makes a compelling case9:
The Vatican is eager for a sign.
What graves has Merton opened, raised what dead?
Has he changed stones to bread
Or water into wine?
Where are mountains Thomas has removed?
Show us a sign and then we shall believe.
Oh good Advocatus Diaboli!
He was a gentle thaumaturge with courage to renew
The contours of our world’s geography.
In faith he carried off Mount Tabor to Tibet
And brought the Himalayas to Gethsemani.
The bar for canonization these days is unreasonably high. When we look back into the history of the church, we can see that the requirements for sainthood were quite different. There was St. Matthew who was a racketeer for Herod. St. Augustine who was a complete scoundrel and hedonist. St. Francis liked to party hard in his youth, and misappropriated his father’s money. St. Paul was a murderer and possibly psychotic. And the list goes on10.
Thomas Merton has arguably done more to bolster the reputation of the Catholic Church than any other Catholic in the 20th century, save Mother Theresa and Dorothy Day. Unfortunately, he didn’t perform any miracles. And if he were a martyr and victim of a CIA assassination as many claim, the spiritual-military-industrial-complex has been successful at keeping a lid on the case for more than 50 years. 111213 He remains persona non grata among conservative Catholics, so much so that he was deleted from the catechism. The reasons given: Merton was too obscure and he explored spiritual traditions outside of Christianity14.
My guess is that Merton would have been ambivalent about sainthood, and seen it as a curse rather than a blessing. Canonization would render Merton as an icon out of reach, beyond human, and the truth of his life and work would likely be sanitized for future generations. So perhaps it is best that he remains the eternal outsider, the rebellious bodhisatva who continues to inspire seekers from all backgrounds and faiths, perfect in his glorious imperfections.
Kyle Outlaw is a designer and contemplative who is on a mission to make technology usable by humans and not the other way around. A reformed atheist and lapsed Catholic who now identifies as a “spiritual slacker”, he is a third-year novice with the Community of the Incarnation and a student of Zen Buddhism. He is also the founder of Subatomik, an independent bookstore that focuses on art, technology and mysticism.
Interested in learning more about our New Monastic Community? Sign up for our upcoming Fall class Introduction to Socially Engaged Mysticism, also called “Candidacy.” Learn more at spiritualimagination.org/events
Beneath the mask of holiness : Thomas Merton and the forbidden love affair that set him free by Shaw, Mark. Publisher: St. Martin's Press https://bookshop.org/p/books/beneath-the-mask-of-holiness-mark-shaw/12844828?ean=9780230616530
The Monk's Record Player: Thomas Merton, Bob Dylan, and the Perilous Summer of 1966, by Robert Hudson. Publisher: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-monk-s-record-player-thomas-merton-bob-dylan-and-the-perilous-summer-of-1966-robert-hudson/12608245?ean=9780802877550
Song of Myself, 51, by Walt Whitman. https://poets.org/poem/song-myself-51
Thomas Merton: An Introduction to His Life, Teachings, and Practices, by Jon Sweeney. Publisher: Macmillan https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250250483
Cables to the Ace, by Thomas Merton. Publisher: New Directions
https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/cables-to-the-ace-or-familiar-liturgies-of-misunderstanding_thomas-merton/20313576/?resultid=b1793964-362c-4c2d-aed6-389b1d58b8e6#edition=44884196&idiq=40566341
My Argument with the Gestapo, by Thomas Merton. Publisher: New Directions
https://bookshop.org/p/books/my-argument-with-the-gestapo-autobiographical-novel-thomas-merton/12391810?ean=9780811205863
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, by James Joyce. Publisher: Penguin
https://bookshop.org/p/books/a-portrait-of-the-artist-as-a-young-man-james-joyce/17762276?ean=9780142437346
Reconsidering Thomas Merton, who died 50 years ago today, by John Cooney. Publication: Irish Times https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/books/reconsidering-thomas-merton-who-died-50-years-ago-today-1.3723942
Thomas Merton’s Canonization Process, by Fr. Declan Deane. The Thomas Merton Center at Bellarmine University https://merton.org/ITMS/Seasonal/32/32-4Deane.pdf
Saints Behaving Badly: The Cutthroats, Crooks, Trollops, Con Men, and Devil-Worshippers Who Became Saints, by Thomas J. Craughwell. Publisher: Image
https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/saints-behaving-badly-the-cutthroats-crooks-trollops-con-men-and-devil-worshippers-who-became-saints_thomas-j-craughwell/317778/?resultid=a4b8b9c0-d5d3-467e-a20d-6bc8d8ccc9bf#edition=3714822&idiq=4001963
This turbulent monk: Did the CIA kill vocal war critic Thomas Merton? by Soline Humbert. Publication: Irish Times https://www.irishtimes.com/opinion/this-turbulent-monk-did-the-cia-kill-vocal-war-critic-thomas-merton-1.3718440
https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP90-00552R0004
A Way to God: Thomas Merton's Creation Spirituality Journey, by Matthew Fox. Publisher: New World Library https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/a-way-to-god-thomas-mertons-creation-spirituality-journey_matthew-fox/10938477/?resultid=23990c55-ee49-4add-b60d-74e9086704f3#edition=10342405&idiq=19388060
Whose orthodoxy is it? Merton gets tossed from new catechism, victim of latest round over who gets to decide what's Catholic, by Deborah Halter. Publication: National Catholic Reporter
https://www.natcath.org/NCR_Online/archives2/2005a/031105/031105a.php
Wow, this is a great article! I really appreciated your insight of TM. I too have a fascination with this holy saint that goes back to my dad, amazing journey, thank you. Mary Witke ,on the Carmelite quest.